See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995), pp.111-115
Almond Version
Here I transpose the age for love into the age for poetic independence, while still trying to retain some erotic frisson. I also reverse the pursuit gender – here Lily had been pursuing the publisher who managed to dive into the middle of a ‘cocktail of bubbly writers’. She is then stopped by the narrator, but has her eyes not only on the escaped publisher, but also anyone else who might be able to further her ends. In my version the subject Lily, is scared, scared because suddenly the room she is in is too big and too bright. She’s also scared that the narrator and every other writer in the room for that matter, is going to capture the ear of the publisher and she is not, so my subject Lily has a darker side than Chloe in the original. The point is though, that even someone who possesses this darker side and is driven by so much ambition can in fact display exactly the same pathetic symptoms as someone who is scared because they feel physically vulnerable.
The action of the original poem takes place outdoors whereas my version is set indoors and the ‘fawn’ becomes on ‘owl’ in my version to emphasise the fact that Lily has her big eyes on every opportunity. Owls are also twitchy in much the same way as the Lily character of my poem is twitchy about not being able to get the attention of the publisher and about having been waylaid by the narrator in the poem.
Because in the Latin the name Chloe in Greek means ‘green shoot’ there’s some idea of immaturity. I substitute Lily since the Lily is supposed to signify innocence and hence ‘greenness’ as in ‘green shoot’?. ‘Whirling’ is meant to suggest both turning and the idea of being ‘in a whirl’ and there is added irony in the final line which can be read both as a genuine compliment to the networker but also hints at the idea that this person is not averse to ‘blowing their own trumpet’. I use the slang word ‘clocking’ as in ‘to see or notice’[1] because I want to convey the idea of calculating / measured, and to suggest ‘click’ as in a camera shutter which is what an owl’s eye resembles.
[1] Collins English Dictionary: Complete and Unabridged, Glasgow: HarperCollins Publishers, Seventh Edition, (2005) 321
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.112-115
Almond Version
My version pays homage to a wonderful contemporary and much loved poet, Michael Donaghy who died tragically young. In my poem too, there is another man to consider, namely Simon Armitage, another good contemporary poet who wrote a homage poem to Michael, Patent, and was obviously grieving his death.
Just as Horace points out to Virgil that nothing can be done to bring Quintilius back, my poem addresses the idea that we can do nothing to bring Michael back, not even Michael with his magical voice and charm could conjure his way back (and here I play on the title of one of Michael’s collections, Conjure) At the same time, just as Horace addresses Virgil through one of his own texts, my poem addresses Simon Armitage by referring to his own text, Patent, pointing out that even were he to be able to invent an everlasting lightbulb that would outshine the sun, this would not fill the huge Jupiter shaped gap left by Michael. (Here I intend to convey Michael’s similarity with Jupiter as the God of light)
I pick up on Melpomene who strictly speaking is the Muse of lyric but later became the Muse of Tragedy and I try to achieve a pithy, gnomic ending as Horace does, by pointing out that Michael worked into the night (according to Armitage) and if we do the same, might we be able to accept and shed light on death via Michael and thus make him live on.
I have tried to recreate the form of Yeats’ poem Presences
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.116-119
West Translation
According to West, Horace is here ‘adopting his accustomed role as Professor of Love…. and dispassionately observing the human comedy.’[1] The poem mocks not only lonely Lydia, the ageing good-time girl, but the ‘behaviour of young men in love is also ridiculed..’[2] The Professor of Love points out that Lydia, as she gets older will no longer be in such demand, and that the time will come when she will want love – when that time comes, ‘Lovers will be insolent. No longer will they besiege her house. She will have to take to the streets, weeping as she stands in the north wind…… she will be worthless, despised…’[3] Horace highlights the fact that Lydia will complain because the freshness of newcomers will be preferred to her staleness.
Almond Version
The main thrust of my whole collection (from which this is taken), is set in the world of contemporary poetry, so here the warnings about no longer being ‘sought’ relate to the idea that an older ‘wrinkly’ writer needs to be aware that he/she can no longer expect to receive the adulation experienced when he/she was at the height of achievement. The desires and drives and needs are those experienced by writers. An attempt has been made to keep the sexual innuendos and to maintain sexual colour throughout.
The brittle laurels are those of the old writer, now becoming forgotten, in other words the primary theme is the same as in the original which is rejection of the subject of the poem. There is too, in my view, a kind of hidden warning that perhaps the new pretenders will, in time, face a similar situation.
[1] West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press,
(1995) p.117
[2] Ibid
[3] Ibid p.118
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.120-123
Almond Version
Here I turn the muses into fairies in order to make use of a well known saying. Instead of addressing one person as in the original where Horace addresses Lamia, I cast poetry itself as my addressee. Whereas Horace dispatches his gloom and fear to the ‘wild winds’ to be carried off to the Cretan sea, I dispatch mine on a strong southerly; this to echo the north/south divide in other poems in the collection. Horace declares not to be remotely interested in what is going on in some ice-bound shore at the edge of the Roman empire (as if he could do anything about it anyway), and my mind is cast to Iraq, the power of the Imams and the far eastern deserts (not that I can do anything about that either). Whereas Horace bids us weave a garland for his Lamia, I bid us praise some gritty, Northern contemporary poets, who also double as my muses and sources of inspiration. By pushing the political concerns of the day to the back of my mind I too try to celebrate the creative experience of writing poetry and at the same time pay tribute to friends, make a programmatic statement and a declaration of poetic affiliation.
Nisbet and Hubbard say ‘Poetry is not the best subject for poetry, and Horace’s greatest odes are not written simply about poetry.’[1] . This view is one that concerns me a little about this collection, but hopefully, although I have used the world of contemporary poetry in which to set my versions of Odes Book I, readers will appreciate that what I am trying to capture in these poems is the whole range of human interaction. Certainly from the feedback I have had so far, those people not involved in the world of poetry itself have, nevertheless, been able to apply the human interactions into the worlds they inhabit. I must try and remember this quotation and give it a place in the introduction to my book – I think it is important.
[1] West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press,
(1995) p.123 (referencing Nisbet, R.G.M and Hubbard, M. Horace: Odes BookI (Oxford, 1970)
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.124-127
Almond Version
In this poem I try to achieve a colloquial frame and tone which appeals to my own sense of wit and dialogue. I use the conceit of the poetry professor to mirror the fact that the poem gives drinking instructions from an authoritative stance. I cast the Thracians as rough engineering types as opposed to the classical scholars to whom the poem is addressed and of whom we might expect more refined behaviour.
The reference to ‘Charybdis and Chimaera are names given elsewhere to Greek ladies of pleasure. Charybdis, being the whirlpool which Odysseus avoided in Odyssey 12. 234-59, would drive a man giddy before she sucked him down, and the Chimaera, ‘in front a lion, at the rear a snake, in the middle a a goat’ as described by Homer in Iliad 6. 181, would entangle him in her coils before consuming him.’[1] I represent this idea by use of the colloquial term, ‘drag you down’ – suggesting a whirlpool action. I bring in the lion idea by another colloquial term, ‘she’s got her claws into you’
When in the original Horace gets his victim to reveal his secret (the original uses the word, laborabus, meaning ‘you were toiling’, in other words, ‘So that’s what’s troubling you’ Horace comforts his victim with the words, ‘You deserve a better flame than that’. So too in my version, the narrator recognizing what the problem is, ‘Ah now I get it. I’ve hit the nail on the head! and goes on to say, ‘I think you deserve better’
Towards the end of the poem ‘Horace now suggests that not even Pegasus would be able to release this unfortunate boy from the coils of the Chimaera. That never was the function of the horse.’[2] In my version of the poem there is a kind of fatalistic acceptance too, my narrator advises, ‘best not fight it lad,that’s my advice. Once they’ve got your wrapped round their finger, there’s no escape. Not even if you were Houdini himself.’
As west says in his commentary, Horace created a world for his poetry. By recontextualising the work of Horace this is precisely what I am trying to do – create worlds for my poetry.
[1] West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.127-8
[2] Ibid p.128
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.132-135
Almond Version
In my version I substitute metre for mathematical measure and refer to it (Horace’s metre) being fine as sand; this is to pick up on the idea in the original where Archytas is described as ‘measurer of earth and ocean and numberless sand’[1] ‘There is no evidence that he counted the number of grains of sand in the world (that achievement belonged to Archimedes), but poignant although it is in this context, it need not be false. Horace knew more about Archytas than we do.’ [2] The dust ‘sprinkled’ in stanza one of the original is replaced in my version by a ‘sprinkling’ of scholars. My reference to ‘brilliance’ , ‘universe’ and ‘oblivion’ is an effort to represent the space-voyaging metaphor of the original.
I chose Horace, Ovid, Sappho, Lucilius and Alcaeus as my five dead ‘worthies’ who have moved off into oblivion, been forgotten etc. So far as Horace is concerned there is a kind of irony here in that I am engaging with him and poets through the ages have engaged with him, despite this though, he is not as taught in schools as used to be the case and seems now to be the concern mainly of Latin scholars as opposed to being more generally in the public domain. Describing Alcaeus I talk of his words crashing like thunder and lightning in the public ear. (Horace described him as impressive in Odes 2.13, ‘and you, Alcaeus, sounding in fuller tones’) As far as Sappho is concerned we are left only with fragments of her writing. I liken Ovid to Tantalus in the original, as one who communed with the gods in that he (Ovid) could change the shape of things. According to Wikipedia, ‘The remains of Lucilius extend to about eleven hundred, mostly unconnected lines’[3] I refer in my version to Lucilius’ verse being ‘fresh’, I do this because ‘His chief claim to distinction is his literary originality. He may be called the inventor of poetical satire, as he was the first to impress upon the rude inartistic medley, known to the Romans by the name of satura, that character of aggressive and censorious criticism of persons, morals, manners, politics, literature, etc which the word satire has ever since denoted.’[4]
I compare Pythagoras, who is said to have died twice, with the contemporary poet Brendan Kennelly, who is still alive, but underwent quadruple heart surgery some years ago and had near-death experiences which he captured in his collection called Man Made of Rain, so I’ve twisted the poem in that neither he nor the narrator of the poem are yet dead, but sure enough will be given time, which I think nicely picks up yet again, Horace’s recurring theme that death comes to all of us, great and small. The phrase ‘final page’ towards the end of the poem is used as a metaphor for death and my expressed desire to be laid in the ‘archive’ whilst referring to physical death, represents a wish to be remembered and re-read – to be given, as in the original an appropriate rite of burial and passage.
The new arrival at the end of my poem, i.e. the ‘literary folk’ who give me the opportunity of a proper burial and consequently peace in death, are ever elusive editors and publishers, I therefore stop musing about the dead and tackle them in a hurry!
[1] West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) p.131
[2] West, D. (1997) Horace: The Complete Odes and Epodes. Oxford University Press,:Oxford p.151
[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaius_Lucilius
[4] Ibid
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.136-141
Almond Version
Here I change the destination from abroad to home and make the physical journey of the original into a career journey. By using the term poetry blueprint I mean to imply that this previously ‘gritty’ northern poet, true to his own voice, is looking for a blueprint that will likely guarantee his success and acceptance by the ‘poetry establishment’ In other words, I am suggesting here that just as Iccius sold out his pursuit of philosophy to pursue fame and excitement through war, so too is the Chris in my poem selling out his true northern, authentic soul in order to gain glory and success – he is prepared to journey from the real roots of poetry in order to move up the poetic hierarchy.
I have, as with all my other versions located my poems within my own landscape and have maintained my north/south divide (the equivalent of the Rome/Greek divide of the originals)
I try to capture the movement and idea of ‘impossibility’ in Horace by suggesting that before Chris is likely to meet the acceptance and success he craves, it is more likely that the River Tees would flow upwards to the Cleveland Hills.
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995), pp.142-145
Almond Version
Here the aim is to mix love with poetry. Originally I used Calliope, the muse of epic poetry and her son Orpheus (in place of Cupid/Eros), but really Horace was into lyric poetry rather than epic poetry and in the end I decided that this might be too confusing and contradictory, so I have reverted to Venus (Aphrodite) and her son Cupid (Eros).
As ever I have maintained the north/south divide to represent the Greek/Rome divide in the original, which is, as West says, ‘one of Horace’s stock themes, the antithesis between Greek and Roman’[1] The reference to Eros and his band is a representation of Eros, and the Nymphs and Graces in the original and of course I too call upon Youth, (capitalised to recognise the personification in the original) bringing with it the return of my vitality.
In this poem I’m praying that by bringing Venus and Eros (gods of love) and Youth (i.e. my youth, looks and vitality back) the academics, (who replace Glycera in the original) at my place of study will be so overcome by love for my work that they will not be able to get enough of me.
[1] West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press,
(1995), p.145
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press,(1995), pp.146-151
Almond Version
In my version academia takes on the role of the God Apollo and opens with the question ‘So what should poets ask of academia / once the erudite facades have all been built?’ The scholarly temple (equivalent of the ‘temple’ in Horace) has become a façade in my version. And just as Horace asks what the bard prays for, so too I ask what honours the poet seeks now that his/her aspirations have fermented and new words, (like the new wine in Horace), can pour out.
I too, then turn sharply from the general (public) poet to the personal and proceed with a list of things I am not going to go in search of (pray for) So the rich merchants in Horace become scholar-poets in my version and the Augustan hierarchy are represented in my version by the call of the south and southern fame (this to keep consistency with other poems in the collection which represent the north/south divide). Horace says ‘Let those to whom Fortune grants it prune the vine / with the Calenian sickle, and let the rich merchant / drain from golden goblets the wine / he buys with Syrian merchandise-‘[1] My equivalent for that scenario is to suggest that those writers/poets who are sponsored and already enjoying the fruits of fame and support should be left to labour over their epics and to keep their verse in check just as in Horace the fortunate were to be the ones doing the drudgery of keeping the vines in check.
Towards the end of the poem Horace, by stating his simple choice of food is telling us that he prefers to follow a simple life. He tells us he has no desire to travel. My version suggests that I have no desire to ride their trendy wagon or to go to strange places in my head, this is an emotional poetic journey I am resisting, as opposed to the actual journey Horace resisted. Horace wants in his old age to be sound in body and in mind and enjoy what he has and finally he wants to continue with his lyre, i.e. his poetry. In my version too, I express a desire to keep my common-grounded lyrics and my northern voice and I pray that I will keep my feet on the ground and enjoy the few talents I have into old age.
[1] West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press,(1995), p.147
See West’s Notes at: West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) pp.152-157
Almond Version
In this version it is Horace himself who becomes the deity, he replaces the lyre in the original. The opportunity is taken to remind the deity (Horace), that the writer and he have an unusually intimate and convivial relationship, to the extent that the writer would ‘toy’ with him, curl up with him in the form of a readable text.
As the original refers to a first tuning of the lyre and by whom, so too the Almond version praises the man of Latin who first turned the writer onto Horace and the list of gods are obviously poets. The final glorification is given to Horace, the bed-time book Horace prays for ‘divine assistance with the act of composition and that prayer becomes this poem.’[1] Almond looks to Horace to light up her efforts and give her worldly insight whenever she thinks of him.
[1]West, D. Horace Odes I Carpe Diem: Text, Translation and Commentary, Oxford: Clarendon Press, (1995) p.157
|
|